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John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis slideshow recap from OTL.
Cena opens the show with a promo. “What the hell happened? What the hell? What the hell?” In regards to Big Show’s heel turn, of course. Cena expresses his frustration from Sunday and calls Ace a selfish, power hungry bully. He walked everyone through the match and how much fun he was having, until his former friend punched him out cold. Cena says the interference was unmerited because the next GM would’ve had the brains (even the laptop GM) to re-sign Show. As he mentions the laptop GM, he begins mocking Michael Cole’s message reading. He then mocked Ace’s voice regarding People Power. Cena made a mistake at the end–he tried to say that it wasn’t about him winning or losing, but Ace getting fired, and totally messed it up. He looked pretty rattled afterwards, kind of rambling on, but it’s also possible that the next cue was late or something.
Ace’s music hits, and Eve walks onto the stage. “Wow John Laurinaitis you got really hot, but you still suck.” She introduces Ace, who comes out in a People Power electric scooter. Ace gets help getting out, and leans on one crutch. He says he had to be rushed to the hospital because of a possible broken clavicle, possible damage to ACL and PCL, possible spinal damage, on top of all his contusions (bruises). He says he can’t lift his left arm or move his left leg, which indicates possible nerve damage. Why so much “possible?” He either has it or he doesn’t. Who the hell is the doctor here? He says he’s proven he’s a fierce competitor, but now that he’s not wrestling anymore, no one can touch him, otherwise they’re terminated.
Ace says he signed Big Show on Saturday. Now, as this happened, Twitter exploded with people calling out the logic gap in this storyline, and rightfully so–the stipulation was that if anyone interfered in the Cena/Laurinaitis match, they would be fired. So technically, Show should’ve been fired. Eventually, Cole corrected the issue at the announce desk, saying that a deal was agreed to in principle, but signed after the event. Ace announces John Cena vs. Big Show at No Way Out.
As he introduces Show, he comes out to “you suck” chants. He said he loves the business and did what anyone else in the situation would do. He says he cried last week and got no sympathy from the fans. He now has an iron-clad contract and is proud of it. David Otunga comes out and says Cena lost on Sunday, so now he’s going to lose to him. Cena isn’t having any of it. ”I am not in the mood. You go in the back and watch re-runs of Law & Order because if you get in this ring tonight I promise you I’m going to hurt you.” Nice. Otunga dedicates the match to Laurinaitis. Overall, the segment ran 20 minutes, which was a bit long. That said, they addressed what they needed to.
John Cena vs. David Otunga (D-)
Ace and Eve are watching on the stage. They played cat and mouse around the ring for the beginning. Otunga lands some punches and begins celebrating, allowing Cena to make his comeback. He hit the Attitude Adjustment, then STF for the submission at 2 minutes. Of note, Otunga is a professional wrestler, yet Laurinaitis lasted roughly 15 minutes longer than Otunga. Embarrassing. Post-match, Curt Hawkins, Tyler Reks, Darren Young and Titus O’Neil attack Cena, but Sheamus runs, almost running into Laurinaitis at the stage, and made the save. Ace says the four heels didn’t have permission to do that. He books Cena and Sheamus in a 2-on-3 Handicap Lumberjack match.
Justin Roberts announced Ricardo Rodriguez, but Santino comes out right away with the Cobra on his arm. Santino says he can’t understand a word Ricardo is saying. Big crowd pop. He calls Ricardo’s accent ridiculous, and tells him he has caterpillar eyebrows. Santino says Ricardo can’t roll his ‘R’s', and they both competed doing that for a bit. At the end, Santino’s Cobra hisses and Ricardo bails. Santino breaks out saying, “it’s my arm in a Cobra costume stupid!” Amazing. Ricardo got up and Santino hit him with the Cobra. Santino does the ring announcement for Del Rio, saying he’s the only person to drive his car into the building, and says he weighs 108 kilograms (238 lbs). “Alberto Del Rrrrrrr…rrrrrrrio!” with a nice delay for a break in the final ‘R’. Overall, a very good comedy segment, as most of Santino’s are.
1000th episode of Raw on July 23 video package. Raw has more episodes than Law & Order (456), The Simpsons (508), Lassie (588) and Gunsmoke (635). Also beginning July 23 are permanent 3-hour Raws. I’m still unsure about this. It can work, but knowing WWE, they won’t do it right.
Here’s where Cole and Lawler went back and corrected the Laurinaitis/Show signing, saying that they agreed in principle and signed it early Monday morning. At least they went back and fixed it, rather than just having it sit there and making no mention of it.
Randy Orton d. Alberto Del Rio via DQ (D)
ADR started in control, but Orton mounted a comeback. ADR tried for a clothesline against the ropes and missed, so he slid right through the top and middle rope feet-first and crashed to the floor. Orton hit his rope-hung DDT, then set up for the RKO. Chris Jericho, however, runs in and hits Orton with a Codebreaker for the DQ at 7 minutes. Jericho grabs the mic and starts screaming that he’s the best in the world. ”Do you understand? I am the best in the world at everything I do!” He hits a second Codebreaker on Orton that didn’t land well and goes to leave. He comes back in and hits a third Codebreaker. I liked the ending here, and the two should have a nice feud, although I’d like them to play up that Orton punted Jericho in the head the last time they feuded, which was “why” Jericho left.
Daniel Bryan comes out and shows the finish of the Punk/Bryan OTL match. Bryan is pinned for the three count, but Punk tapped moments after the pin was completed. It’s Q&A time with Daniel Bryan. “Did I make CM Punk tap out? YES. Should I be the WWE Champion? YES. If I face CM Punk one more time will I make him tap out again? YES! YES! YES!” The crowd was chanting “no” for all of the questions. Bryan says he’s not champion because of referee incompetence and demands a rematch.
CM Punk comes out. He called the match one of the greatest battles he’s ever been in, and thanks Bryan for that. He says he beat Bryan 1-2-3 in the centre of the ring. He flashes back to SmackDown, where Bryan hit Kane with a chair, but posed it so that it looked like Punk did it, leading to Punk getting Chokeslammed twice. Punk says he fell for it, but introduces Bryan’s opponent for this match…
Daniel Bryan d. Kane (D)
Punk is doing commentary at the desk. On the outside, Bryan hit a suicide dive, knocking them both down in front of the announce desk. Punk grabs his steel chair and goes to hit Kane, but Bryan pulls it back and takes it from him. Punk obliges and turns away, as Kane sees the steel chair in Bryan’s hands. Kane hit a big boot, then hammered Bryan with chairshots for the DQ at 2 minutes. Post-match, Kane threw him back in the ring and landed a pair of Chokeslams. As Kane leaves, Punk goes to “check” on him, and slaps the Anaconda Vice on him. Bryan begins tapping immediately. Punk gets up and celebrates, screaming “YES!” Nicely done. Overall, a well done segment. I’d also assume Bryan/Punk is a match at OTL as well.
Backstage, CM Punk is met by AJ Lee. She says she enjoyed watching him beat Bryan. Punk calls her crazy, sadistic and acting like a fool. AJ is on her period or something and starts crying. Punk isn’t sure what to do and eventually hugs her. He tells her to stop crying, and she immediately stops. “You know what? I sort of dig crazy chicks.” Another weird segment involving the two. I don’t know where they’re going with this, but it’s interesting at least. Also, “crazy chicks” began trending on Twitter.
Christian d. Jinder Mahal (D)
The two exchanged some offence early. Mahal escaped a Killswitch to hit a knee to the face. He tries for a Camel Clutch, but Christian slips between his legs and hits the Killswitch. Then he climbs the top rope and hits a Frog Splash for the pinfall at 3 mintes.
Beth Phoenix d. Kelly Kelly (D-)
Kelly is on the Maxim Hot 100 list at #38. Beth missed a corner splash, and Kelly hit a sloppy Lou Thesz Press. She hit her backflip cartwheel elbow thing, but Beth countered with a shot to the back of the head. The she hit the Glam Slam for the pinfall at 3 minutes. Backstage, Layla is watching the match.
WWE keeps plugging their 1,000 episode. Cole incorrectly stated “that means we have been on the air for nearly 20 straight years live every single Monday night,” even though Raw was taped for most of the ’90′s.
After Sheamus and Cena made their way to the ring, Vickie Guerrero came out and introduced their opponents: Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger…and Tensai. WWE has officially dropped the “Lord” from his name. Take note. The lumberjacks come out, but they’re all heels.
Handicap Lumberjack Match: John Cena & Sheamus d. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger & Tensai via DQ (C)
Ace is watching from the stage, leaning on his crutch. Tensai gave Sheamus a shoulder block, sending him to the outside. Sheamus fights off a few heels, then runs off the steps and hits a running shoulder block on a few more, but was eventually slowed back down. As Sheamus continues to get worked on for the majority of the match, Show appears at the top of the stage. Sheamus eventually makes the hot tag to Cena, who explodes on Ziggler. He sets up for the 5-Knuckle Shuffle, but Sheamus got jumped by a bunch of lumberkacks, and Cena jumped out to defend him. The lumberjacks threw them back in and continued the beatdown for the DQ at 15 minutes. Post-match, the Raw locker room empties out and all the faces run in for the save. The Great Khali even came out, but he was in no hurry, casually walking to the ring as everyone else ran. No sense of urgency. What a guy. Everyone is brawling in the ring, but Cena leaves and goes after Big Show backstage. Cena finds Laurinaitis and asks where Show is, but Ace says he doesn’t know. Ace threatens to fire him if he’s physically harmed. Laurinaitis limps away. Cena turns his head, and Show KO’s him the fuck out. What a shot! Cena is out cold, as Show stares at Laurinaitis in the background. Overall, a nice ending with a cool finish.
Three Stars of the Show
** John Cena
*** Daniel Bryan
Final Grade: D
You didn’t miss much. Punk/Bryan progressed nicely, and the comedy between Santino and Ricardo was good. Jericho/Orton is also a good feud that should pick up very soon. Show/Cena advanced as well, and all three are likely to be NWO matches. Everything had good build, but Cena was on camera for almost half the show. Hopefully this doesn’t carry over when Raw goes 3 hours.