Raw comes to you live from Dayton, Ohio.
John Cena/Brock Lesnar video package from Extreme Rules. They air the Raw intro and it ends on a “Raw Supershow starring Brock Lesnar” backpage.
John Laurinaitis comes out and says he revolutionized WWE in just one night. He introduces Brock Lesnar. Lesnar says everyone witnessed him bringing the pain. Right away, Chief Operating Officer Triple H came out for his first appearance since WrestleMania 28.
HHH comes out and says he needs to do what Ace didn’t have the guts to, and that’s voiding the re-work of Lesnar’s contract. No more blackmailing WWE, no more private jets or limos unless it’s on his dime, and he won’t be treated specially. Also, the name of the show is and will always be “Monday Night Raw.” Even though it’s now the Raw SuperShow. HHH says Ace agreed to Lesnar’s stipulations last week without authority, even though Ace is running the talent relations department. Fuck logic. HHH rips up the new contract and says Lesnar won’t get anything that he’s asked for. Lesnar is upset at Ace. HHH says he and the WWE Universe want Lesnar on Raw. “They want to see you in a rematch with John Cena, they want to see you face CM Punk, Randy Orton, Sheamus.” HHH asks if Lesnar will take his ball and go home after his loss to Cena, to which Lesnar got pissed. Ace says this isn’t fair, and HHH tells him to shut up. “So what’s it gonne be. We got a deal?” Ace tried to intervene again, so HHH turned around to yell at him, but got attacked from behind by Lesnar.
The two start brawling in the ring, with Lesnar overpowering him until HHH landed a few shots back. Lesnar scores a takedown, then locks in a kimura armbar with a bodylock. HHH is fighting it, but Lesnar ends up overpowering and “breaks” Triple H’s arm with a fake snapping motion past the normal range of motion. Big Show, R-Truth, Sheamus and Kofi Kingston ran in for the save. Lesnar dismantled the steel steps for no apparent reason as the babyfaces tend to HHH in the ring. The camera zooms in on HHH talking to the officials, saying his arm is broken. The four of them help HHH out of the ring and up the ramp.
Overall, a good segment other than the brutal kimura. They needed to have Lesnar overpowering right away to counter his loss at Extreme Rules. Some of those shots Lesnar was landing looked like they hit hard, too. Same with the ones he had on Cena. Lesnar vs. Triple H should also be happening soon, maybe as early as SummerSlam.
Backstage, HHH is being worked on. He says he can’t move his arm, but can squeeze his fingers.
Eve comes out to the top of the stage. Her new role makes her look even hotter. Wow. She announces a Beat The Clock challenge featuring five matches, with the winner becoming the new #1 Contender for the WWE Championship against CM Punk at Over the Limit.
Beat The Clock: The Miz d. Santino (D-)
The clock goes up for this one in order to establish a time to beat. Both guys went for quick pins. Santino went for the Cobra but missed. From the corner, Miz hit a big boot followed by a Skull Crushing Finale for the pinfall at 4:18. No chance he wins this.
Divas Championship: (C) Layla d. Nikki Bella & Brie Bella (F)
Layla came out to Michelle McCool’s music again. The Bellas argued, so Layla hit a dropkick, sending one Bella to the outside, and scoring rollup on the other for the pinfall at 15 seconds. On WWE.com Monday night, the Bellas were “fired” by Eve backstage. Their contracts are reportedly up and they won’t be re-signing, so they’re being written out of storylines.
Beat The Clock: Chris Jericho d. Big Show (D-)
No mention of JeriShow from 2009? Weak. Jericho hit a Lionsault, then tried for the Walls of Jericho, but Show countered with a small package. Oh, the ironing! Jericho grabbed Show from the apron and pulled him to the outside. Jericho got tossed into the barricade, and as Show went for a running boot, Jericho dodged, causing Show to flip into the ring bell section. Jericho rolled back into the ring as the ref counted Show out, but the ref counted 10 about 1 second after time had expired. Uh oh. Someone fucked up there. He didn’t count fast enough. According to reports, Jericho was supposed to win with 1 second left. Everyone is confused as we go to commercial.
After the break, they say The Miz still has the time to beat at 4:18.
Brodus Clay d. JTG (D-)
JTG got minimal offence in before Clay rallied and hit a splash for the pinfall at 2 minutes. Post-match, he brought in three kids to dance with him in the ring.
Backstage, Eve with Ace. She tells Teddy Long to leave the room. She gives Ace a peptalk to try and motivate him. She asks who Cena’s next opponent will be. Ace says he knows who, and he can guarantee that Cena won’t like it.
Beat The Clock: Randy Orton d. Jack Swagger w/Vicky Guerrero (C)
Swagger has no chance to win this. Swagger was in control for most of it before Orton made his usual comeback. Swagger applied an Ankle Lock, but Orton rolled through. Swagger went into the turnbuckle, and Orton caught him with an RKO for the pinfall at 4:16, making him the current leader. Backstage, Miz is angry. Orton/Punk would be amazing, but I don’t think Randy wins this either.
Tag Team Championships: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth d. (C) Primo & Epico w/Rosa (C)
Truth got worked on before making the hot tag to Kofi. He goes on fire and hits a Boom Drop on Epico. Rosa got on the apron to distract Kofi. Epico tried to attack Kofi, but he pushed him off. Epico went towards the ropes and was hit by Truth, letting Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall at 7 minutes to crown NEW Tag Team Champions. A good overall tag match. How did they get a title shot though? Seems random given they weren’t involved in either Primo/Epico losses the last two weeks.
Backstage, Epico, Primo & Rosa are mad. Abraham Washington walks in, and they all start talking. Weird cutaway. Was that supposed to happen? Why not a gradual fade?
Beat The Clock: The Great Khali vs. Kane ends in No Contest (F-)
Khali is dancing in the ring as we come back from commercial. I can’t unsee what I just saw. Both guys were in a double choke hold as time expired. That could’ve been the slowest, most boring match I’ve ever seen. Post-match, Kane Chokeslammed Khali. Backstage, Orton is happy.
Beat The Clock: Daniel Bryan d. Jerry Lawler (D-)
What the hell is Lawler doing in this match? Bryan was in control, but Lawler made a comeback and hit a fist drop off the middle rope. Bryan reversed a piledriver with a backdrop, then applied the YES! Lock for the submission at 2:20, making him the new #1 Contender for the WWE Championship at Over the Limit. I’m thrilled with the result, but why have Lawler in the match? More midcard babyfaces required. As Bryan is celebrating, CM Punk comes out to the stage and applauds the effort. Punk holds the title high as Bryan is chanting “YES!” This should be an epic match if it’s booked properly and given the time.
Michael Cole says HHH’s arm is broken from earlier tonight, and believes Lesnar will get fired. Fat chance.
John Cena comes out with a sling around his left arm. Cena says X-rays and MRIs all came back clean, with just a strain. He now knows the difference between hurt and injured–when you’re injured, you go home, and when you’re hurt, you fight through it, so he’s here tonight.
Ace comes out. Cena asks if his challenger will be Zeus from No Holds Barred. Ha. Not. Ace says what he did for Lesnar was to motivate Cena. Cena says Ace tried to tale him out, but Ace says we got to see the best Cena had prevail. Ace says Cena should thank him. “Thank you for being a short sighted corporate jackass…who sounds like he smokes five lifetimes worth of cigarettes who has his head so far up his own ass that he brushes his teeth with toilet paper. Thank you.” Ace says he’s the GM, so Cena needs to better his relationship with him because he can make life really easy or really difficult. Cena calls him an idiot and says he can’t make life more difficult. He also mocks Ace’s voice saying “People Power.” Ace introduces Cena’s next opponent–Lord Tensai, who comes out with Mr. Sakamoto.
Cena is quickly surrounded by all three. Sakamoto lands a hamstring kick, then Ace smacks Cena in the back of the head with a microphone. Ace says Cena’s next opponent will be him! Tensai hits a splash, and Ace takes off Cene’s sling and works his arm. They pull Cena over to the steel steps, and Ace lands a few stomps and a chairshot on him. Back in the ring, Ace mocks the “you can’t see me” hand motion over Cena’s carcass as we fade to black.
Three Stars of the Show
* Daniel Bryan
** John Laurinaitis
*** Brock Lesnar
Final Grade: D-
Lesnar/HHH was a good start to the show, with Lesnar finally being booked properly. The BTC matches made it so that all matches would be short and low quality. It’s not fun to watch, but its effective in its own way. Bryan winning was definitely the right call, and it sets up what could be a match of the year candidate.