RAW
Raw comes to you live from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Recap of last week’s Cena/Ryder/Kane/Eve stuff. Backstage, Eve is talking to the Bella Twins. Eve says she was never friends with Ryder, and that she was using him to get more attention. Heel turn! Ryder didn’t get to first base, and he wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like her. The same way she used Ryder, she’s going to use the big fish in John Cena. Cena walks in from behind, having heard everything.
Cena comes out to a pop. Before he can speak, Eve comes out trying to plead her case. She says her comments were taken out of context, and that she could explain everything. Cena said he lost a good friend in Ryder, and traded a Broski for a Hoeski, which started trending on Twitter. Cue the “Hoeski” chant. Can you say “ho” on PG-TV? Also, it should be “hoski” and not “hoeski.” Whatever. Cena recommends Eve going after The Rock because they’re both scandalous bitches. Can you say “bitches” on PG-TV? Big crowd pop. Eve starts trying to kiss Cena, who’s asking for help to get her off. He says he’s disease free and wants to keep it that way. Bazinga! Eve has an emotional breakdown in the ring as officials try and console her. Overall, a decent segment. Eve’s heel turn made sense given her heat from last week, while Cena stays face and cleans off any heat from his image.
Undertaker video package.
CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan on SmackDown this week.
Sheamus d. Mark Henry (D)
Henry went for the World’s Strongest Slam, but Sheamus escaped and hit a Brogue Kick for the pinfall at 3 minutes.
Backstage, John Laurinaitis is with David Otunga as Teddy Long walks in. Both Ace and Long threw some jabs at each other, then Teddy went after Otunga. They set up a 10-man battle royal for the #1 Contender later tonight–five Raw and five SmackDown. Teddy says any SmackDown guy can beat Otunga, who accepts a challenge request.
The Rock will be live on Raw next week.
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth d. Primo & Epico w/Rosa (D)
Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise on Primo for the pinfall at 3 minutes.
Ron Simmons is the next inductee in the Hall of Fame. Very good call. They pushed his “DAMN!” stuff, but why no mention of Nation of Domination?
Backstage, Josh Mathews is with Chris Jericho. Y2J says he wasn’t really eliminated from the Elimination Chamber match because he was deemed unfit to compete and wasn’t pinned or submitted. He says he’s the best in the world at he does, and CM Punk will soon realize it. Tonight, it’s the end of the world as we know it.
David Otunga d. Ezekiel Jackson (D-)
Why Ezekiel? Otunga hit a spinebuster for the pinfall at 2 minutes.
Triple H/Shawn Michaels promo from last week.
WrestleMania 28–just 40 days away.
The Undertaker comes to the ring to call out HHH. He’s wearing a hood, and reportedly won’t reveal his shorter haircut until WrestleMania 28 itself. The promo was similar to what he said a few weeks ago–HHH/Taker will be the end of an era, and the significance of the match. HHH comes out and tries to make an excuse, but Taker quickly tells him to shut up, calling his excuses pitiful. HHH says it’s bad for business to have Undertaker lose at WM. Taker says any way you look at it, HHH is a coward. HHH snaps and says he’s sick of hearing that work, and says he’s not going to be the one to finish off Taker. Crowd is chanting “he’s a coward.”
HHH leaves the ring, but Taker keeps poking at him. He says HHH also couldn’t do what HBK couldn’t do, and HHH always knew that HBK was better than him. Oh snap! Huge crowd pop! HHH snaps again, taking off his jacket and tie. HHH says HBK couldn’t get the job done. This is getting super tense. “You want this? You want WrestleMania? You want an end?…you’ve got it!” Enormous crowd pop! HHH turns back and says the match will happen under one condition: Hell in a Cell! An even louder pop! Taker pats him on the shoulder quickly and leaves, although it was confirmed that the match will happen. Taker leaves to Metallica’s “The Memory Remains.” Overall, an incredible promo. There’s too much to recap in a synopsis, but it was awesome. The great crowd reactions was icing on the cake. Fantastic stuff. I can’t wait for WM28.
Daniel Bryan d. Santino (D-)
Santino tapped out to the LaBell Lock at 1 minute.
The Bella Twins d. Kelly Kelly & Aksana (F)
Mother of God, Aksana is terrible in the ring. It’s embarrassing. The Bellas did Twin Magic for the win at 2 minutes.
Cena comes to the ring and cuts the best shoot promo he’s ever had. He starts by calling Eve a “skankapotamus,” then moves on to Rock. He talks about Rock never being on Raw, and how he gets his lines written for him. Cena says Rock promised to never leave, then did again just to launch his Twitter account and promote Fast Five. Very true. He says the best part will be April 9, when he’s on Raw and Rock is laughing at his stunt double. Cena says he’s fighting for everyone behind the curtain that works every day of the year and who love what they do–being professional wrestlers. Cena says the only way Rock wins is if he kills him. The headline will read ‘John Cena beats The Rock in the biggest match ever in Rock’s hometown.’ Absolutely amazing. There’s zero chance any of that was written for him–that was entirely from the hip. Can’t wait for Rocky to return next week! I did a terrible job of covering this one too, so enjoy the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mSn1QkRwQgQ
#1 Contender’s Match–Battle Royal: Chris Jericho wins (C)
CM Punk is sitting at the desk wearing a suit jacket. Miz was eliminated early before everyone started a finishing move sequence. Santino eliminated Barrett & R-Truth and continues to enjoy his Jeremy Lin-inspired push. Show picks up Ziggler over his head and throws him over the top onto Barrett and Truth in front of the announce table, but Barrett suffers a dislocated elbow on the spot. He’s screaming “FUCK!” and slapping the mat as the refs run with the “X” signal and a stretcher. Early timetable has him missing 8-12 weeks. Ouch. The final four were Jericho, Rhodes, Big Show and Santino. Beautiful Disaster on Show, followed by a lionsault. Santino hits the Cobra on Jericho, but is eliminated by Rhodes. Santino almost lands on Barrett, who’s still down ringside. Show hits a double suplex on Rhodes and Jericho before eliminating Rhodes. Show and Jericho are pushing each other over the ropes, then Rhodes runs back and pulls Show over to eliminate him and give Jericho the #1 Contender’s spot at 12 minutes. Post match, Jericho and Punk met in the ring. Punk extends a handshake, but Jericho walks away. He leaves, but asks the ref about Barrett’s condition. Punk celebrates in the ring to end the show. Overall, a good match with a predictable finish. The fact that Jericho cut a promo backstage meant he was going to win anyways. Why not have him do this at Elimination Chamber? It’s a bigger platform and means more momentum.
Three Stars of the Show
* Triple H
** John Cena
*** Chris Jericho
Final Grade: A-
The matches were average, but the promo work of this show was incredible. HHH/Taker was fantastic, and Cena’s promo was the best one he’s ever cut. Keep cutting promos like that and keep the immaturity out of it. He’s such a better mic presence when he’s serious. As for Barrett, he’s likely out through WM28, but obviously things can change. Now, we’re looking at Cena/Rock, Jericho/Punk, Bryan/Sheamus, HHH/Taker in HIAC (possibly HBK as referee?), Money in the Bank, and potentially Shaq/Big Show and Beth/Trish. This year’s WM could be one of the best ever if WWE plays their cards right.