RAW
Raw comes to you live from Corpus Cristi, Texas.
Video package from last week between Kane, Ryder and Cena. Kane starts the show with a promo similar to the one he cut a few weeks ago, telling everyone to accept hate. He says that when the fans chant “Cena sucks,” they’re actually saying that they suck. Cena eventually interrupts and starts brawling with Kane around the ring. They took it backstage, and Kane ended up knocking out some workers behind the scenes. They take it outside, and Cena lands a shot with a pipe, but Kane gets an uppercut right after. As Cena gets back to his feet, Kane is gone.
Sheamus & Santino d. Jinder Mahal & Wade Barrett (D-)
Santino hit the Cobra on Mahal for the pinfall at 3 minutes. Waste of time.
Backstage, The Miz complains to John Laurinaitis and David Otunga about R-Truth attacking him. Ace said it was his own fault and that he’s busy preparing for Brodus Clay’s debut. Miz asks private security, but Ace delines the request and says, “I’m not your problem. I’m not Little Jimmy. I’m Big Johnny.” Absolutely amazing.
The headline inductee for the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame for the night before WrestleMania 28–Edge. Awesome. Unfortunately, WrestleMania 29 probably won’t be going to Toronto, as rumoured. As of now, Christian is tentatively expected to induct him. For anyone going, HOF tickets go on sale on Saturday.
Backstage, The Miz inaudibly talking to Mason Ryan.
Backstage, Zack Ryder on the phone with his dad. Eve walks in and is asked if she wanted to go out later, and she agrees. She says she has a match with Beth Phoenix first. Both leave, and a red light is seen from behind a door. As it opens, Kane emerges.
Daniel Bryan d. Kofi Kingston (D)
Bryan won with a LeBell Lock in 2 minutes. Why not have a great, long match? Post-match, Bryan continues his excessive celebrating. He’s getting some boos for it. Big Show comes out. Bryan kind of heelish-ly says he hated how his match with Show ended last week on SmackDown. Show says it’s OK because he got GM Teddy Long to give him a World Heavyweight Championship match this week, with no DQ’s or countouts. Bryan’s heel turn continues.
Royal Rumble flashback–1994, Bret Hart beats Lex Luger.
Brodus Clay d. Curt Hawkins (F)
Clay returns in a red suit, and is known as “Funkasaurus” from “Planet Funk.” What the fuck? His music is also the same as Ernest “The Cat” Miller. There are two dancers with him, one of which is Naomi Knight from NXT, and the other is Cameron Lynn from Tough Enough. Unreal. Instead of making him a grizzly, aggressive heel, he’s a retro-dancing babyface. Like Rikishi with 2-Cool. He hit a running cross body block on Hawkins for the pinfall at 2 minutes. How’d they screw this one up?
Backstage, Zack Ryder is brushing his teeth in the bathroom. Kane is in the background, but Ryder doesn’t see him.
Backstage, The Miz asked Epico, Primo & Rosa for help. Rosa yelled at him in Spanish because she’s a bitch. CM Punk walked up to him, laughed and left for his match.
CM Punk d. Jack Swagger (C-)
Prior to the match, a stipulation was added that if Punk won, Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger were banned from ringside during the Punk/Ziggler match at the Royal Rumble. Punk won with a Macho Man elbow drop at 13 minutes in a botched finish. Jack Doan, the referee, looks like he missed the finish. Right after Swagger got his shoulder up, Punk went for the Anaconda Vice, but instead, the match ended after the elbow drop, which Punk never wins from. Check out the YouTube video for his reaction right after the pinfall–he’s visably upset, even after the win. Doan isn’t even a rookie either. What happened? At ringside, Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole mentioned how Ace wouldn’t have blown calls like this when he’s the ref, so I guess it’s possible that this whole thing could be a work. Anyways, here’s the video:
Replay of the Cena/Kane brawl. Cena is talking to Ryder backstage. Ryder thanks him for the help in winning the US Championship, among other things. Cena congratulates Ryder for having more Twitter followers than Miz. Ryder was panicking about Kane, so Cena told him to relax.
WWE Network plug, even though the debut is expected to be delayed.
The Bella Twins are talking about Hollywood celebrities and namedrop Stacy Keibler. Ricardo Rodriguez walked in, but I didn’t understand what they were talking about. Miz intervenes and threatens Rodriguez, telling him to say negative things about R-Truth, otherwise Miz will attack him.
The next 2012 Hall of Famers are announced, and it’s the Four Horsemen–Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Barry Windham and manager JJ Dillon. Good call. Flair will likely get permission from TNA like he did last year for Shawn Michaels’ induction.
In the ring, Ricardo Rodriguez is chirping R-Truth as told. He chirps Truth’s mom and says his breath stinks. Truth came out and said he didn’t know why Rodriguez was doing this since Truth is a face again. Truth makes Ricardo sing “La Cucaracha.” Truth wanted an encore, but Ricardo slapped the mic away, so Truth hit his finisher. Miz ran in from somewhere and started a beatdown on Truth. They took it to the outside, and Truth got the upperhand again before Miz bailed through the crowd. The crowd was pretty quiet for this.
Justin Roberts gives a big introduction for Chris Jericho. His titantron video is all footage from last week. He came out in the same jacket, but with a mic at hand. He starts smiling again, but starts fake crying and leaves. He didn’t get a lot of boos for it, though.
Royal Rumble flashback–1998, Austin eliminating The Rock. Great stuff.
Eve walks out for her match, but the lights go red and Kane’s music hits. out for her match. Zack Ryder ran out, grabber her and escorted her to the back. They get back to Ryder’s car in the parking lot, and the back tire is slashed. Eve gets in the front and nags Ryder to hurry up and fix the spare tire.
Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger for the US Championship.
After the commercial, Zack was still trying to put on the new tire.
John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler ends in No Contest (D-)
During the match, they cut to video of Kane walking to the parking lot. Kane attacks Ryder. Ziggler slaps a sleeper on Cena, but he fights out and tosses Ziggler into the steel steps as Cena bails to save Ryder. Kane brings Ryder over to the edge of the parking lot and Chokeslammed Ryder onto some wooden skids, except Ryder kind of bounced on the few-foot drop. Cena eventually gets to the parking lot, but Kane attacks him from behind and smothers him with his glove. Kane is seen standing tall, with Ryder and Cena both knocked out as the show fades to black.
Not-So Three Stars of the Show
* Brodus Clay
** Ricardo Rodriguez
*** Zack Ryder
Final Grade: D-