RAW
Raw comes to you live from Kansas City, Missouri.
Justin Roberts introduces GM John Laurinaitis, who’s job is up for evaluation today. He shakes hands around ringside and is looking happy. He says he’s done well, and has made mistakes just like everyone else, but the key is not making the same mistake twice. He sucks up to Triple H, who is doing the evaluation. Ace says he did well at the Rumble, and announces the participants in the Elimination Chamber…except he just called it the Elimination. Idiot. It’s WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston. This should be great. He also announces some matches for tonight: Beth Phoenix vs. Eve, Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton and CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan. That last one should be epic if the two could go as they please, but it won’t get more than 10 minutes.
CM Punk comes out singing “na-na-na-na” with the crowd. He gets Lawler and Roberts involved in it too. Punk said he’s here to see Ace one last time. He said he enjoys seeing him stumble over words and is amazed how Ace can manage to suck and blow at the same time. Ace says he wants to start fresh, and wants to shake Punk’s hand. Punk says the only reason he should extend his hand is if he wanted to go to sleep.
Daniel Bryan comes out next. “Hey everyone it’s me the World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan!” He says everyone was squabbling over their own problems as he won retained the WHC last night. He said Punk isn’t much of a challenge compared to what he went through last night. Punk responds with, “You’re right. All I am is the best wrestler in the world.” Bryan counters with, “I’m a role model. I’m a vegan. I don’t even eat meat!” Punk says they should have the best wrestling match in the world.
Sheamus is out next, and says he won the Rumble and reminds Punk and Bryan they’re both defending their titles at EC. Bryan and Punk shake hands to end the segment at almost 20 minutes.
Randy Orton d. Dolph Ziggler (B-)
Orton went for his inverted DDT, but Ziggler counters with a sleeper. Orton throws him off for a nice cradle for two. Ziggler hits the Fame Asser for another nearfall. Ziggler goes for a Zig Zag, but Orton clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring instead. Orton hits his inverted DDT, then RKO for the pinfall at 11 minutes. Very nice work.
WrestleMania 28 video package. 62 days away.
Backstage, Ace shakes hands with William Regal. Ace asks about Regal’s two sons, but Regal says they’re daughters. Nice. Regal adds that they’re conjoined twins that he keeps up in the attic.
Brodus Clay d. Tyler Reks (F)
Lawler calls this Funkasaurus vs. T-Rex/Reks from Jurassic Park. Terrible. Clay hit his usual offence before What The Funk? for the pinfall at 1 minute.
Backstage, Bryan with Punk in the locker room. Bryan says eating meat is poison for your body. Punk says he’s straight edge and doesn’t claim to be a role model like Bryan. “I’m just the best wrestler in the world.”
Daniel Bryan d. CM Punk via DQ (A-)
Two of the best Ring of Honor has to offer going head to head. A lot of people have been waiting for this for a long time. Bryan tries for a superplex, but Punk hits a headbutt, knocking Bryan off. Punk hits a top rope elbow drop for two. Bryan went for a LeBell Lock, but Punk escaped and hit a shining wizard. With Bryan on the apron, Chris Jericho runs out from nowhere and tosses Bryan into the barricade for the DQ at 15 minutes. Post-match, Jericho jumped into the ring and hit Punk with a Codebreaker. A solid match between the two, and just a glimpse of what they’re capable of.
Mike Tyson announced as the next inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame. His involvement in the Austin/Michaels feud in early 1998 was epic. Tyson in WWE was one of the pinnacle moments that defined the Attitude Era.
Kofi Kingston d. The Miz (D+)
R-Truth was doing commentary. Kingston hit Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall at 6 minutes. It was alright. Minimal offence for Kingston.
Backstage, David Otunga says he hopes Ace keeps his job. Ace asks if Otunga wanted his job. He says no.
The Rock/WrestleMania 28 package.
Divas Championship: (C) Beth Phoenix d. Eve
Beth hit the Glam Slam for the pinfall in about 15 seconds. Post-match, Kane showed up on the jumbotron and says Ryder’s attacks could have been prevented if Cena “embraced the hate.” Until Cena embraces the hate, he can’t beat Kane or The Rock, and said the attacks will continue to prove his point. He says he’s using Eve to convey that message. Eve is looking for Kane on the stage, and he shows up behind her. Cena’s music hits, and he starts brawling with Kane ringside. Huge crowd pop. Cena beat the shit out of Kane using the steel steps, and tells Kane everytime he gets up, he’s going to knock him down. Cena clears the announce table and clocks Kane with a microphone. “We gonna have a party up in here.” Cena goes for the AA on the table, but Kane lands an elbow to the head and bails.
Justin Roberts introduces Laurinaitis again. He says he knows the fans appreciate his work. He said he gave himself a 5 out of 5 in various self assessment categories.
HHH comes out and says he’s been watching Ace for a while. He says Ace is spineless and gutless. Ace says he used the role to make himself a star, and that he respects HHH. HHH says Ace involved himself too much, as Ace says he tried to make Raw better. HHH says Ace used personal feelings could his judgment. Ace says he’ll do anything to keep his job. HHH said he could make him do anything, like apologize to the fans and if the fans welcomed it he could reconsider. Ace gave a half-assed apology as the fans booed him. HHH said the crowd was so loud that he could barely him, but his lips were moving so he knew he was lying.
HHH says he wants to have a Gauntlet Match against every WWE Superstar that has a problem with Laurinaitis. He said Vince had a genius idea when he needed to see where his loyalties lie–having that person join the Kiss My Ass club, although he didn’t actually say it, the fans cheered it. Ace puts chapstick on and gets down on both knees. “You’re really gonna do it aren’t you, you freak.” HHH says he doesn’t know where Ace’s lips have been. “You should get some personal help for that, man.”
HHH says the Board of Directors has given him permission to run Raw again whenever he wants. Hunter starts the firing procedure. “I wish you well in all…”
The Undertaker’s gong and music hits. The crowd is going insane. Him and HHH staredown in the ring. Taker looks at the WrestleMania 28 sign and did his throat slash, then looked at the sign again. Hunter put his hand on Undertaker’s shoulder and patted it, but didn’t look at the sign, and leaves. WOW. The show ends with Taker looking at the WM28 sign.
Three Stars of the Show
* CM Punk
** Daniel Bryan
*** The Undertaker
Final Grade: A
Great show. Good in-ring work, good ending, and a nice surprise return from Undertaker. Punk/Bryan was the best match of the night, while Orton/Ziggler was good as well. Punk/Jericho looks likely for WM28, and I expect Jericho to win the EC and pick Punk at Mania. Sheamus will likely wait until after EC before making his decision. As for HHH/Ace, it’s probably going to be milked out a bit longer.