RAW
This week’s Raw–sorry, Supershow–recap will be another live edition. Keep clicking refresh for updates throughout the show.
Raw emanates live from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Video package from last week’s Raw..Supershow. Very well done as usual.
They open the show with a shot of the empty announce desk, and a quiet crowd. Backstage, all is quiet and no one’s around except for a backstage person here and there. HHH emerges from behind a door, and makes his way to the ring. The fans are chanting “Triple H” as he continues his walk. He finally makes his way out as the crowd erupts. He shrugs his shoulders as if to say, ‘what can I do?’ HHH begins milking his reception from the crowd. HHH says he’s showed up while no one else did. He says they’ve walked out, not on him, but on all the fans. He says everyone is outside in the parking lot holding a solidarity rally. He begins mocking them in a whiny tone of voice. They’re all with their wrestling gear outside, but no one will come in to perform for the fans unless he steps down as COO–if he is no longer running Raw, everyone comes back. He asks the fans what he should do, and they all say ‘stay.’ Should I go? “No!” Should I quit? “No!”
He says he’s never been a quitter, it’s not him. He says he will not do it, and will not be intimidated, coearsed or blackmailed. He begins ramping up the intensity. He says the WWE Superstars can pucker up and kiss him where his cheeks meet. He doesn’t care if he has to strip down to his tighty-whities (LOL!) against a broomstick for the fans, which will give him a better match than some of the guys outside. Come hell or high water, he’s going to give the fans Monday Night Raw.
John Cena’s music hits to a loud ovation. Cena says there’s a reason why he wasn’t involved last week, which is why he hasn’t addressed the media or his fans on Twitter. Ever since HIAC, all 55 people have asked him to join him, and HHH hasn’t even sent a text message asking him to stay. The roster says HHH is just looking out for himself. Cena lists off some of his bosses and name drops Eric Bischoff. Wow. Mike Adamle, Vince, Vickie, 56 guests hosts and even the laptop GM. Cena says HHH is his boss and that he’s staying because he loves Raw and the unsafe workplace that is the WWE. He says ‘loyalty’ on his sleeve is what he stands for, with the fans. John Cena stays on Monday Night Raw.
Sheamus is out next. He says 2 years ago, he hit HHH from behind with a lead pipe. He was trying to make a name for himself, but HHH didn’t take legal action. Instead, he fought back and gave Sheamus the biggest arse-kicking he’s ever gotten. They’re very different, but Sheamus says he has a lot of respect for HHH for doing that. He’s tried to copy the same values as HHH. He says he didn’t travel thousands of miles to stand in the parking lot, but to be apart of MNR.
CM Punk is out next to a nice ovation. Punk says he feels like he’s totally responsible for this being at the epicentre of everything controversial since before HHH came into power. He made walking out look cool. Everyone out back misunderstood what Punk was doing, and that was trying to prove a point to a company, not a man. He says he should be the first person to walk out of WWE. WWE is based on men solving their problems between the ropes, and he thrives on an unsafe working environment–this isn’t a ballet. If you believe in something, you stand in front and fight for it, not protesting like hippies. Ha, he called Cena boy scout! He says he’ll deal with Sheamus personally when he eventually steps on his toes. Punk says he’s the last guy to be in the fox hole with Cedna & HHH, but here he is. He asks, ‘what do we do now?’
HHH says we do what we do–shut up and fight. HHH books Sheamus against Cena. HHH volunteers to referee, and sends Punk over the announce desk that’s filled with pipebombs to say anything he wants. Punk asks if he can wear HHH’s blazer, and he agrees. “I’m in!” HHH says Punk needs to do commentary and ring the bell for double pay.
John Cena vs. Sheamus w/ HHH as Special Guest Referee
Punk gets on commentary. This is awesome. He calls himself Bob Uecker, then immediately throws to commercial. Punk says not to adjust our TV sets–do people still do that, with bunny ears and all?
As soon as they come back, Vince McMahon’s music hits as he struts down the ramp. Wait, wasn’t he fired? Vince apologizes for breaking up the match, then asks for a word with his son and law, sending Cena and Sheamus out of the ring. Punk also leaves the announce desk. He thanks them for standing up for what they believe in, even if they’re wrong. People on Wall Street are doing the same, and HHH is doing it now. Vince says he believes in HHH and enjoys everything he has done so far. There are some that don’t, though. He says the Board of Directors are sympathizers, and they’re responsible for the financial wellbeing of WWE. Vince says we don’t know where this is going–cancellation of shows and PPVs, WrestleMania and no more Raw. Umm, NBA lockout much? The result of such could be a financial catastrophe, and the BoD won’t take that chance. On behalf of the BoD, HHH’s services as COO are no longer required. Wow.
Vince says he won’t run Raw, and no McMahon family member will either. The Board is looking for an independent GM, with morals and ethics, but until then, there’s an interim GM–John Laurinaitis! Ace walks out to the stage to a chorus of boos as HHH is not happy. HHH stares straight-faced at the stage.
Backstage, all the Superstars are walking back in. Everyone congratulates him, but John Morrison doesn’t. He says HHH is a narcissist, but Ace really sucks. Christian thanks him and says it’s the best decision the BoD made the best decision ever and suggests removing the interim tag. Ace asks if Christian wants to fight Morrison, and he agrees.
Back in the arena, Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler enter to a nice ovation. Cole is out third and gets booed. Cole takes the thanks and says he did all this. He says there’s real change because of him, and he led the walkout last week. He calls himself Ghandi. Ugh, it was a nice 40 minutes without him talking. It’s just a fucking tease, having Punk announce for 2 minutes, then having Cole back there. It suckers you in to see how awesome commentary would be from Punk, or at least anyone even moderately competent, and then rips it away from you like taking candy from a baby. It’s like taking a big bite out of a fresh, delicious BLT, then someone takes it away and you’re back to eating a turd sandwich. So cruel.
Christian d. John Morrison (F)
Both guys come out in street clothes, but Christian comes with Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. Christian wins with a Spear in about 1 mintue. Post match, Ziggler hits a Zig Zag while Rhodes hits a Cross Rhodes. Swagger picks him up and hits a Swagger Bomb. All four heels stand tall in the ring.
Later tonight, it’s Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk, as well as Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton.
Backstage, Ace is on the phone when HHH walks in, looking pissed. He says the Board appointed him, and he’s willing to make sacrifices for the WWE Universe. HHH asks if he’s tried to pick up his teeth with a bunch of broken fingers.
Randy Orton d. Mark Henry via DQ (D+)
Henry says it’s taken him 15 years to be WHC, and he’s the most dominant of all-time. He don’t back down from nobody. Oh, no he didn’t! He’ll take on anyone, unless they’re not the #1 Contender, and Big Show wasn’t. Video package from this past SmackDown!. I guess his logic makes sense. That means I will fight anyone, unless they’re big, taller and stronger than I am. He says he’s still here despite all the punishment and pain. At Vengeance, vengeance is his. Over the speaks, a voice says “No Mark, vengeance is mine,” and Randy Orton comes out.
Orton is getting worked on, but starts his comeback. He hits the inverted DDT through the ropes, then starts RKO hunting. Rhodes runs in, but Orton takes him out. Henry goes for a World’s Strongest Slam, but Orton reverses and hits an RKO! He goes for the cover, but Rhodes breaks it up for the DQ. Rhodes starts the beatdown before Orton starts his comeback again. Orton stares him down for an RKO, but Rhodes pushes him off and into a World’s Strongest Slam. He goes for the pin, not realizing he’s lost by DQ. How did he not hear the bell? Henry hits another WSS and Rhodes looks fearful on the ramp. Henry takes his title and leaves as Orton remains laying. Rhodes sneaks back into the ring and gives Orton a Cross Rhodes. He calls for his grocery bagger to come back and grabs a paper bag from him. He opens it up and sticks it over Orton’s head. He kinda looks like Scarecrow from Batman. Rhodes says to cut the head off the viper and all the venom goes with it. He asks if he’d like a receipt with his paper bag. Worst. Zinger. Ever. He starts laughing maniacally, but really needs to work on that too. Not impressed by Cody Rhodes.
Later: ADR vs. Punk.
Flashback to last week when Kelly Kelly had a spaz attack.
Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres d. Rosa Mendes & Tamina (D-)
Kelly botched her backflip stuff in the corner and caught Rosa right in the midsection with both feet. Ouch. Why is she screaming so much? God, that’s annoying. Eve won with a moonsault as Natalya and Beth look on from the back. They’re smoking hot.
After the match, Ace walks out. He says he’s nervous but has a job to do. He books ADR against Cena for the WWE Championship at Vengeance. He says he has ethics and morals, then asks JR to come into the ring. Uh oh. Ace says JR walked out last week, and walked out on HHH who gave him his job back, the state of Oklahoma and the WWE Universe. JR’s an ingrate, and he says he hates seeing redneck Oklahoma ingrates. Laurinaitis fires Jim Ross! JR shakes hands with Lawler as he heads to the back. Cole says it’s the greatest night in the history of Raw. JR tips his cap to the fans at the top of the stage before leaving. Don’t start with this again…
Mason Ryan & Air Boom d. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger & David Otunga (C-)
Cole calls the heel team ‘the Agents of Change.’ Bourne hits a nice top rope splashI on Ziggler on the outside. I’m glad tag teams are getting more time every week, especially Air Boom. Fun to watch, exciting and very talented. It’s nice to see some fast-paced tag action that doesn’t just involve two singles wrestlers slapped together as a team. Air Boom tried a double team with Swagger in a tree of woe, but he fell off before Bourne could land a baseball slide from the apron. Swagger hit a huge powerbomb as Bourne tried for a hurricanrana with his shins on Swagger’s shoulders. Wow. Ryan scores the pinfall over Swagger as Bourne appears to be legitimately injured. That powerbomb was huge.
Later: ADR vs. Punk.
Brodus Clay video package. He reminds me of Bowser Jr. from Super Mario.
World premiere of Cena’s “The Reunion.” His hair is short, so it must’ve been during his time off. Looks just as bad as every other WWE Studios movie.
Cena vs. ADR plug for the WWE Championship at Vengeance.
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces ADR, who comes out in a 425-horsepower, 2012 convertible BMW 650i worth $100K. His song is called “Realeza” on iTunes. It should go quadruple-platinum, or whatever’s equivalent to that. Punk comes out after the commercial. “It’s clobbering time!” So awesome.
Ace eventually comes out and stops the match. He books a tag match: Punk & ADR versus…The Miz & R-Truth! Miz shakes Ace’s hand as they walk the ramp. “We’re baaaack!” “You suck, you suck, you suck, you suck!” Hahaha these remixes are amazing! Cole is loving this too.
CM Punk & Alberto Del Rio d. The Miz & R-Truth via DQ (C-)
Glad to have these two back. Punk is getting worked on a fair bit but starts to fight back. He hits a nice Shining Wizard, then the bulldog while clotheslining Truth off the apron–very nice. Punk hits the Macho Man elbow drop off the top rope, then tries for a GTS, but Truth makes the save. Miz & Truth double team Punk for the DQ finish. HHH runs in for the save and starts brawling with Miz as Punk fights Truth! Miz tries to bail over the barricade, but HHH pulls him back and throws him into the stairs while Punk is tossing Truth into the barricades. Punk clears the announce desk, but Miz bails up the ramp as Truth runs away through the crowd. HHH and Punk are celebrating in the ring.
Backstage, Ace and Otunga are watching on TV. Ace says he’ll ask the Board for permission to book HHH & Punk vs. Miz & Truth at Vengeance. HHH & Punk shake hands in the ring as they continue to celebrate to end the show.
Three Stars of the Show
* R-Truth
** The Miz
*** Cody Rhodes
Final Grade: D+
A neat little finish to the show, but otherwise lackluster in terms of wrestling quality. It’s nice to have Miz & Truth back, and the Rhodes receipt line was good for a laugh. JR leaving the announce desk makes me cringe, as it’s one less voice talking over Michael Cole. We’ll see where WWE takes this, but it looks like two matches for Vengeance have been booked already: ADR vs. Cena for the WWE Championship, and HHH/Punk vs. Miz/Truth.