Raw comes to you live from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
There’s an announcement that Jim Ross was there, but instead, it’s Michael Cole in a fat suit dressed as JR. He got a ton of heat for it. He eventually shed the costume before heading into his plastic box.
Triple H comes out and gets a huge pop. He says The Streak was bigger than any title and it may be bigger than all of his championships combined. He asked Undertaker to come to Raw next week, so they can stand face to face so he can tell him that he’s going to lose. “Undertaker, at WrestleMania, you go 18-1.” Cue the New England Patriots jokes. I still can’t believe they lost. Still not mention of HHH losing at WMX7 to Taker 10 years ago.
After the promo, Ted DiBiase comes out and says that he was in a match at WrestleMania last year, and no one has paid any attention to him this year. HHH ends up Pedigreeing him through the announce table.
Sheamus d. Evan Bourne (1/4*)
Sheamus won in less than 2 minutes with a Brogue Kick. Post-match, Sheamus said he was the champion of the United States. Daniel Bryan came out and said that America is the land of opportunity. He wants a rematch at WrestleMania. Sheamus tossed the belt at him, Bryan caught it and Sheamus nailed him with a Brogue Kick. So the match becomes official.
WrestleMania Rewind later, with Orton vs. Mysterio from WM22. No mention of Kurt Angle as being part of the match. That match was a disaster.
Orton walks out of the tour bus and says it allows him to travel with his family. He said he watches videos in there and enjoys watching clips of him destroying the new Nexus with the punt. He said CM Punk thinks he’s sick & twisted, but Punk has no idea what sick & twisted really is.
Eve d. Maryse (1/4*)
Cole interrupted halfway into the match, and Eve hit her neckbreaker to win. I missed the beginning to go to the washroom. I think everyone else did too. Post-match, Eve went after Cole as he stood up in his box and taunted her while security kept her away.
Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel d. Santino & Kozlov (*)
Replay of the Corre beatdown on Kane & Show on Smackdown. Gabriel got the pinfall on Kozlov in like 2 minutes. Show & Kane came out, and Show KO’d Slater before taking out all the others.
The Rock will be live on Raw from Chicago next week. Get ready.
They spoke to John Cena from his home via satellite. He said next week he’ll be face to face with The Rock. He said he’s focused on Rock too much, but Miz has proven himself as a worthy champion. He says he’ll make history at WrestleMania by beating Miz.
After the interview ended, Cole walked out of his “Cole Mine” to say it was time for another exclusive to humiliate Jerry Lawler.
Jack Swagger came to the ring with Cole. They showed a clip from last week when Brian Christopher told Jerry Lawler that he was ashamed of him. Cole said Christopher gave him a gift, which were some Lawler family photos, which he showed on the titantron. Both of Jerry’s parents have passed away, and the crowd hated this. Cole ended it by saying Lawler’s family are all losers. Lawler knocked down Swagger, then chased Cole, who ran around the ring. Swagger got back up and landed a clothesline on Jerry. Cole went into his Cole Mine box, and Swagger smushed Jerry’s face into the glass while Cole taunted him. Jack put the ankle lock on Jerry, forcing him to tap out, then Cole did it too. They celebrated to end the segment. The segment lasted about 7 minutes.
Plug for WWE Magazine with Rock, HBK and Stone Cold in it.
Note that WrestleMania is a 4-hour show going from 7- 11pmET.
Returning from commercial, Cole apologized for his behavior.
Clips of Snooki on Raw last week, which led to a lot of press coverage. Mission accomplished for WWE.
Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison led to a no contest (*)
Ziggler has Vickie Guerrero & LayCool in his corner, while JoMo had Trish Stratus. Match lasted about 3 minutes before everyone jumped into the ring. The GM emails and says it’s now a 4-on-2.
Dolph Ziggler, LayCool & Vickie Guerrero d. John Morrison & Trish Stratus (*1/4)
This time they got about four minutes. The announcers weren’t sure of the rules, whether it was a mixed tag team or inter-gender. Layla attacked Trish on the floor by pulling her by the legs , and she fell back first onto the floor. Ziggler shoved Morrison shoulder-first into the ringpost, and then landed the Zig Zag. Instead of pining him, he tagged in Vickie in, who pinned Morrison while doing her “cougar” hand motions. That’s disgusting. I don’t think the heels are winning at ‘Mania.
Sin Cara video package.
Triple H/Undertaker video. Incredible. They discussed the showdown on February 21 that set the table for the match. A lot of past and present wrestlers spoke about everything the two have accomplished. Arn Anderson kind of made a stupid analogy of Taker’s wins being like Super Bowl victories. Other than that, and not mentioning their past Mania match, the video was fantastic.
Rey Mysterio d. Randy Orton via countout (*1/2)
At 6 minutes, this was the longest match of the day. Orton hit his DDT through the ropes. We see CM Punk show up at the tour bus in the parking lot. Orton ran from the ring to the back, so I’m assuming Orton loses via countout, although we don’t get any notification.
“Randall Keith Orton.” Punk said he didn’t know what sick and twisted was, but he wanted to meet Orton’s wife. Orton ran out looking for Punk, but couldn’t find him. Then he was hit in the back of the knee by Punk with something. Orton’s wife (not his real one) showed up and was told to get lost by Punk. She closed the bus door and watched from the inside. Punk said Orton would pay for punting the Nexus guys. Punk left as his wife screamed for help.
We’ll see how this plays out. The acting was poor, but Punk at least got some measure of revenge for weeks of losing the battle. I’d have preferred to see him focus on his wife rather than a regular Orton beatdown though.
Alex Riley is back, and is hired as “VP of Corporate Communications.” Stupid. Anyways, he introduced The Miz. Miz compared himself to legends like Muhammad Ali & Michael Jordan. He called himself the greatest champion in history and said it was time to re-write Miz-tory. He unveiled the new WWE Championship, which just had the WWE logo flipped upsidedown to look like an ‘M’. Creative. He mentioned the spinner belt (which needs to go, by the way), and said even Cena has said he doesn’t like it much. He said he doesn’t plan on being a multi-time champion because he doesn’t plan on losing it in the first place. He does his catchphrase, but is later interrupted by Cena via satellite.
It says he’s via satellite, but a guy in a Penguins jersey showed up to remove the set. Big crowd pop for that guy. When Cena entered the arena he told the camera he was there, not via satellite. Nice jab at Rock. Cena runs down to the ring. They threw the podium at him, but he dodged, so Miz bailed. Riley didn’t and got put in the STF. Cena let go, and then re-applied it.
Three Stars of the Show
* CM Punk
** Trish Stratus (thong shot)
*** Michael Cole
Final Score: 4
Another promo heavy show. It felt more like a promo show for next week’s Raw (Rock/Cena, HHH/Taker) than anything. Orton/Punk was good because Punk finally got some revenge, but aside from that, the show was unspectacular.